7:19 am - Friday, Nov. 15, 2002
Song:
I wish I were a little Hollywood starlet from the 50�s.
I wish I knew how to convey what I meant in words that weren�t being written down.
I wish people were more apt to listen.
I wish I knew why I was writing this.
Perhaps I do know.
Maybe I put too much store in dreams, but I hurt when I woke up.
In my dream Chris had cheated on me. I was watching in third person I guess, because I could see myself. He didn�t know how to break up with me, because he was in love with this other girl.
Just a dream, I know. But I woke up crying, my stomach hurt. I hurt so badly. I wanted to be angry, but I was too hurt.
It was like full body step by step relaxation to come to the realization it was all a dream.
It hurt so badly.
I never want to feel that way again. And I want to trust him just fine. A dream shouldn�t affect that.