6:32 pm - Saturday, Aug. 10, 2002
Song:
Smoking cigarettes undressed, but a blanket, in bed is the Hollywood way of inferring sexual activity. We had Jones� fufu berry soda. It's odd to lay there with someone like that, feeling their skin against them, knowing you just took all they had to offer, and wondering oh my, did I return the favor.
When asked if we he could just claim he lost his virginity to me, the first emotionally tied sex, I wanted so badly to cry out, of course, all the others were merely a practice, this sex, this was the only to ever count for anything.
But we all know you can�t reclaim your virginity, just as you can�t reverse birth or live for eternity. And really, what does your virginity matter when this will be the moment you reflect upon?
Worries of the effect this will have on our relationship have not yet riddled my thoughts, to which I am grateful. There�s never really been much reason to worry with him. Never a moment of doubt that his words mirror his thoughts.
Our relationship didn�t veer it�s path from love to lust either, though many relationships take that turn at that exact moment of orgasm, when suddenly the only true goal, though not verbally agreed upon, is to have the person each time you�re with on another.
Seattle is a city I adore for its location and its ability to remind me of my love for New York City. While I can�t be at my desired location 3000 miles away, I have the emerald city, which brings me my inner city joys while still sparkling with west coast water and Northwest mountains.
I found myself adoring everything I saw, and comparing it to those places I visited in my week on the east coast. The waterfront was wonderful, and the people darling, and isn�t everything just marvelous. The kind of awe that carries me home so I may be disappointed by the lack of height in our buildings, and the slow paced stroll those using the sidewalks here have grown accustomed to.
I almost want to leave now and ride the bus downtown while the sun is low in the sky to remind myself of the breathtaking beauty I am often assaulted with here as I ride across the bridges at sunset. The water never bluer, the hills never greener, the buildings erect in their clean way that reflects sunlight off carefully polished windows.
Despite the draw of a precious lover, and a true metropolis, Seattle can�t hold a candle to my Portland. The beauty here is just too pronounced.
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